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Our heartfelt thanks to Kelly Mershon of Canon Air Force Base in New Mexico for submitting this wonderful military blessing!  You'll want to read every word and refer to it often to be reminded of...

Lessons of a military PCS...

As I write, our family is once again on the threshold of another Permanent Change of Station (PCS), which is military-speak for a transfer to a different base. Moving is a familiar part of military life, and one that can bring its share of drama. While the process is never easy, moving is one part of life as a military spouse that I have enjoyed – as soon as the boxes are unpacked. It has taught me a great deal about myself, and has indeed been a blessing.

Fortunately, it seems that the Lord hard-wired me for a vagabond existence. When asked where I grew up, I usually say “I don’t know; I was a corporate gypsy.” While my family was not in the military, we did move as often as most military families do. As a kid, I sometimes handled these moves well, and sometimes not so well. Changing schools is, after all, a tough thing to do. I remember the fear that I had the night before I would walk through the doors of a new school. I imagined walking into the cafeteria and having nowhere to sit down, getting lost, losing my locker combination, and forgetting everyone’s name. Sometimes these “worst-case scenarios” actually did come true, but I learned that those trials were, to my great surprise, entirely survivable. More than that, I think that the experience of so often being an outsider, desperate to be accepted and terrified that I would instead become some sort of pariah, helped me to developed an empathy that I might not have had otherwise. Those times that I did change schools “kicking and screaming” I eventually discovered that the move was for the best. I got to experience new places and new people, and I learned how to make friends and to adapt. I also learned that no place, even the one that you call home, is perfect. Likewise, no place is without some redeeming value. These lessons have served me well. 

So, while I came into military life with the deck stacked in my favor with regard to moving, there are still new challenges that I encounter. I think that as a child, I assumed that moving would be so much easier to handle as an adult. For me, it actually is easier now, but that doesn’t mean that it is without its difficulties. For one thing, there are countless details and questions that come with a move. Being a planner by nature, I find that I want all of the answers in advance. I find myself trying to force all of my proverbial ducks into neat little rows. I ask; where will our kids go to school? Where will we live? Where will our family attend worship services? What about doctors, dentists, grocery stores, dry cleaners, daycares, gyms, service stations, and vets? Is there a Starbucks nearby? And there is the really big question; just who is going to cut my hair? Then, there are the logistics of the physical move itself. I have known of household goods shipments dropped into the ocean, family pets lost at airports, china that arrived in tiny pieces, cars that broke down in the middle of nowhere, and the list goes on and on. Our best efforts to organize and plan often give way to changes and events that are completely out of our control. Military orders change, flights are cancelled, shipments are delayed or lost, job assignments are shifted, and I find that despite my efforts, I still have absolutely no idea where to go for a good haircut. My plan, my beautiful, logical, meticulously crafted gem of a plan winds up in shambles. It happens every time.  
 
So, just where is the blessing in all of this? I wasn’t kidding when I said that I believe that the opportunity granted to us by the military to move and experience new places is a great blessing, even though it is inevitably mixed with a few challenges. Yes, it is difficult to leave friends and the comforts of familiar surroundings, but there are new experiences and new people around the corner. And, in the military, there is often the opportunity to re-connect with old friends which makes the transition that much easier. In this coming PCS, we have friends stationed at our new base. I have no doubt that they can and will help me answer many of my questions. I have enjoyed the benefits and comfort of this instant support-system in several past moves, and it appears that I will continue to enjoy more of the same. Truly, the military family is aptly named – it is in every way a very real family. A military PCS reminds me that I am blessed because I can lean on others.  
 
Moving is one of those life experiences during which I can no longer pretend that I am in control. There is a good chance that the Lord ordained this particular lifestyle for me just so that I would move every so often. I think that I need to be reminded, in a very concrete way, of who is really in charge, and oh by the way, it’s not me. You have that in writing! When my routine and my usual comforts are literally stripped away I am compelled to trust God. When I’m in my comfort zone, I easily delude myself into thinking that I really have it all together. I make my own plan and convince myself that it is truly outstanding. I assume that God will simply go along with it, given its multitude of merits and the general soundness of it all. Well, often things do not work out the way I think they should, and it becomes clear to me that my schedule and the Lord’s are completely different. There is a saying, “If you want to make God laugh, just tell him your plans.” Anyone in the military can identify with the sentiment, and most of us have learned not to become overly attached to our plans, since powers far outside of our control often do change them.  A military PCS reminds me that I am not in charge, but that I am blessed because I can trust the one who is.  
 
Military moves have also taught me that my physical location, my immediate circumstances, and especially my stuff do not define who I truly am. When all of my worldly possessions are out of reach on a ship, in a moving van, or in storage I am still me and am in no way diminished. I am reminded of a family friend in government service. The family was about to move overseas, and the household goods shipment had recently departed. My friend said that as she stood on the front doorstep of the empty home she was leaving, holding only two suitcases, she had an overwhelming sense of freedom. Imagine that.  How ironic that the stuff we cling to, work for, and even go into debt for, can actually weigh us down. A military PCS reminds me that I am not my stuff, and I am blessed with or without it.  
 
Life in a military family has also taught me something about trials. There are very many aspects of military life that contain both trials and blessings.  I used to think of trials and blessings as being two separate, nearly dichotomous things. I believed that blessings were pleasant and good, something to be desired, whereas trials were unpleasant, and something I wanted to avoid whenever possible. Instead, I have come to understand that they can walk hand in hand, and are far more often a package deal. Regardless of current circumstances, trials, blessings, or seasons of life, I have discovered that what happens is of little importance compared to how we choose to think about what is happening. And what a revelation that was, because I realize that while I don’t control what happens, I am in complete control of how I think about it. A military PCS reminds me that attitude is everything, and that I am blessed through any circumstance. 
 
When I was a child, a good family friend described a strategy she advocates for handling a move. She said to make “list number one” of all of the things that you like, enjoy, or find unique about your new home, and then to make a companion “list number two” of things that you don’t like about the new place, or miss about your former home. Then, you figure out how to take every advantage of list number one, and you simply ignore list number two. Fast forward twenty years or so, and I find that it still works.  And, I realize that her strategy is actually quite Biblical: choosing to count your blessings and to focus your attention on what is good rather than on what you think is lacking is the key to joy in any circumstance, whether you are right at home or on the other side of the world. A military PCS reminds me to count my many blessings.   
 
As a military family, we have had the opportunity to do so many wonderful things. I am thankful for my friend’s advice to take full advantage of whatever is good about a place. After three years in Hawaii, (talk about a blessing!) our kids are fantastic boogie-boarders and have logged more beach time than most adults. As we prepare to leave, I remember that I have enjoyed each of our previous duty stations. I look forward to the next adventure. The first item on my new “list number one” is that this PCS will allow us to be closer to our families on the mainland. I am sure that this PCS will be filled with other good things that I will be able to add to my “list number one.” I find that I don’t have any time to make a “list number two”.  A military PCS reminds me that life is a great adventure.